The greatest compliment anyone ever gave me was when they told me that my husband and I make marriage look easy. Marriage isn’t easy and ours isn’t perfect but I think our success comes from treating each other as equals, respecting each other and keeping our relationship centered on a force greater than ourselves. For us marriage isn’t about being in control of another person or having ownership of “my spouse” but instead continuing to build a life and everlasting friendship together.
We still flirt with each other, we let ourselves be embarrassed in front of each other, we laugh together and we stay intimate, a lot.
We don’t hold grudges or anger, instead we tell the other what is bothering us so it can be fixed.
We don’t withhold ourselves from the other as a punishment for any deeds.
We have an agreement to never is “It’s okay” when it isn’t, instead we forgive it but never say it can happen again.
We let each other go out without strings attached. Go, have fun and I’ll see you when you get back, no harassing texts about coming home.
We don’t judge, not the faults from before we met and not the faults we have now. We do help each other work through our faults.
We sleep together every night, I don’t mean sexually, I mean in each other’s arms, cuddled up. Let the mattress sink in the middle when it gets old, not separate sides.
And as I said before, we treat each other as equals. He isn’t above me and I’m not below him, we’re taking this journey together, side by side.
It works because we are not selfish, no new car or item is worth being angry or hateful towards the person we dedicated our life too. We’ve been through many, many downs in life since we’ve been married but we let each one just make us stronger.
I don’t have a long, lengthy speech or special words from friends and elders. I just have what has made us work, it’s that simple.